Best wishes for you, I hope it all works out.
Let us know!
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Fingers crossed!
These are really hard times, and they might not get better for a while. Also, I hope you've got a supportive family to fall back on. Small communities that can help each other out are more important now than ever.
If it helps: see if your neighbors are in a similar situation and see if you can pool some costs. Our downstairs neighbor is letting us share their internet and recycling costs, which has cut the cost of those utilities in half.
If it helps: develop a passion for cooking. I haven't, but my SO is obsessed, and she saves a ton of money on food just from being able to cook well. I benefit from this whilst still wasting stupid money on takeaways when she's out.
I'm deeply resentful at the moment of the folks who can afford their own solar batteries, inverters, and panels. (Of course, I'm deeply resentful of the folks who own their own house too.)
I dream of a world where people can secure their energy independence via the Sun, secure their food independence via personal or public gardens, and only work when they want to contribute something meaningful. Half of us will be redundant in the coming years, and half of them in the next few, and so on. Where is the line to which we can afford to keep this horrible trek going?
Being resentful doesn't feel like a great situation to be in. I'm sorry to hear that.
I have been in that spiralling situation in the past, I have found that comparing myself to others is never a good plan, instead, I compare myself to myself. After all, we all have different backgrounds, experiences, and drives.
Six years ago, I decided to read as many books as I could, from economics, business, people skills, and many biographies from whom I considered successful people. Now, I've got a new career, and earning double what I did back then. I'm loving it, and have found meaning in what I do, not what I thought I wanted to do.
I'm sure you will be in a better situation than you are now in the near future, if you put your mind to it.