Palm trees sway back and forth from the easy-going breeze. The sun shines bright and the sky is clear. Seagulls caw, the tide ebbs and flows, and the sound of laughter can be heard. In the distance beyond the palisade cliff, a single yellow boat moves in mellow fashion with the rhythm of ocean waves.
Laying supine on a beach towel, I stare up at the pages of my small journal and wonder.
“I wonder how and why things are the way that they are and why I seldom realize any answers to those questions no matter how hard I think.”
…
The sounds around me draw my attention away from my thoughts and I briefly lose myself in my senses.
…
“Sometimes I think it’s possible to change who I am with all of my practicing and other times I think I’m stuck as I am.
Stuck with:
a shaky voice,
a mediocre appearance,
and a mind that is languid, timid, insecure, and slow on the draw.
…
I deeply wish I could verbally articulate my thoughts in a timely manner.
It’s painful to speak and have multi-second long pauses to search for a word.
It’s painful to lack a rhythm in conversation.
It’s painful to not connect with most people.
…
I wish I was naturally permeated with thoughts of what I like instead of what I don’t like.”
...
I stand up, pack up my items, and walk onward and inside of a local bar.
~Bartender, I’ll have a light beer with a lime, please.