I understand that need for novelty. After a while of doing something, most of the time I just lose interest, and much as I try to force myself to keep learning that particular thing, there's no power in the universe to get me to do it. Case in point with programming, something I lost interest in a long time ago, and yet I keep trying to force myself to get interested enough to do something.
On the other hand I do notice that there are certain themes, or maybe it's just a hope. Hope, or some sort of subtle perception, but it seems to me like all these lose threads are all part of something bigger, some hidden theme that runs hidden behind all of them, of which all are but aspects, or different manifestations. I don't know what it is precisely, I can vaguely sense what it might be, but I keep going with the hope that, at some point, all the different seemingly disparate things that have caught my attention and that so often I've learned just enough to claim a basic familiarity, that they will somehow converge, and the hidden thread behind it all will be revealed and my work in this world would be clear.
Of course that might never happen. In this world without meaning that humans have created, I may just end up empty handed because I never actually stuck to anything, and that I might end up becoming useless in this society. But then again, why would I value anything that humankind values?
Oh shit, I went out of character there again for a second :-)
Anyway it helps having some sort of theme, and never to give up. There are a few things for which I never lose interest. I keep coming back to them, they are long-term obsessions of mine, stuff that never fails to catch my imagination, or that intrigue me more and more as I dig into them. I like rabbit holes. There are some things that never fail to present something new.
One thing always leads to another, that's for sure. That is what mostly causes me to jump around from topic to topic. In the end I may have read about all these things, but have I really learned anything? I still don't know how to solve an integral, never cared to, but at least I can hope for an interesting conversation about ancient languages in some little known corner of the internet, so I think my interest was worth the while learning.
In the end we die, and people will likely say I died having accomplished nothing. I'll take it as a compliment, they can all go fuc[[Woah there thins got a little dark for a moment, excuse me a second]]
Sorry I keep letting that other side of me get hold of the keyboard, maybe I'm just a bit tired.
~bartender, you got anything stronger?
###edit
Damn I went way off script, I am sorry to dump all this stuff on you, I've just been in this mood lately, you know? Anyway, I'll go back to posting this stuff on my blog and we can continue talking about ancient languages.
On a more hopeful note, I've been reading Athenaze. And a truckload of books, I can hardly keep tabs on where I left each reading.
Do tell me about your translations, do you translate for your sustenance? I would like to be able to translate CC works in the future, perhaps some day come up with a translation of the Zhouyi, that'd be cool.
zampano
but I keep going with the hope that, at some point, all the different seemingly disparate things that have caught my attention and that so often I've learned just enough to claim a basic familiarity, that they will somehow converge, and the hidden thread behind it all will be revealed and my work in this world would be clear.
I’ve had a similar feeling for quite a long time. I think a lot of my more recent malaise has been from losing that hope, or at the least just finding that hope not to be enough anymore. Now that I’m more-or-less middle-aged, it’s hard for me to look back on all that bouncing, dabbling, etc. and see any meaningful results from it.
On one level I think there’s something to the idea that knowledge is its own reward, or has an intrinsic value beyond what we do with it. But on the other hand, it’s hard for me not to wonder if I wouldn’t have been better off with more focus. Granted (on the third hand?), this is a bit of a counter-factual since the whole point is, like you describe, my inability to actually stick with / remain on one thing for long.
Meanwhile, I can’t say as I’ve noticed any specific theme for what I seek out, although this isn’t something I’ve been really looking for, either. That’s worth thinking on.
In this world without meaning that humans have created...
I like the ambiguity of this phrase. It could be interpreted to mean “in this world, created by humans, that is without meaning” but also “in this world without any meaning not created by humans.” I’d say the latter is more accurate, being as I am a big fan of the absurdist school (Kierkegaard and Camus especially).
I still don't know how to solve an integral, never cared to, but at least I can hope for an interesting conversation about ancient languages in some little known corner of the internet, so I think my interest was worth the while learning.
This is a good way to look at it (and I appreciate the implied compliment!), and something I easily forget. I tend to be very inward-facing, and don’t value simple interactions with other people as much as I should. I keep trying to remind myself that it’s the little things in life that really give it value, yet can’t seem to truly internalize that.
Damn I went way off script, I am sorry to dump all this stuff on you, I've just been in this mood lately, you know?
No apologies necessary, these ideas are every bit as interesting (and more meaningful) than our starting place. Definitely don’t stop on my account!
Ancient languages
I’ve heard of Athenaze, but have never read it (my intro to Greek class used Mastronarde’s (sp?) book). For the transition from Classical to Koine, I used Rodney Decker’s textbook on the latter, which I like. I also have an “intermediate” Koine grammar reference, and finally what I understand to be the end-all-be-all of Koine dictionaries, Bauer’s Lexicon.
Translations
I wonder if I would enjoy being a full-time/professional translator, but alas, no. I have had a couple published, as I said, but never actually made anything off of them. I seriously considered going to graduate school for a foreign language (Russian, specifically). But I’ve worried that, like with anything else, I’d have a hard time sticking with any one specific project.
For subject matter, it’s mostly just Spanish-language books that I come across that are public domain, that I find interesting, and that don’t have readily-available (good) English versions. I’m not against doing a pirate translation of something, honestly, but just haven’t come across the right work.
The hard part is, as always, sticking with it. I’ll find something new, get interested in it, and then just kinda get bored after awhile, and not have any idea why I was interested in the first place. The cycle continues.
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