You have such a sweet and youthful affect. Often when I think of that transition period between childhood and womanhood, you are among the first to come to mind. Your eye color is dazzling: deep, rich blue. Not a lot of people have eyes so dark. I'm reminded of the Sun Kil Moon lyrics: "Her eyes could have only been born of the ocean." I see a lot of your strict, religious upbringing in the way you carry yourself. You're very subtle and quiet in the way a lot of Amish women are. But you also show some of your individuality in the bright colors of dresses you wear. I hope you find a nice man and not just another old school asshole. I imagine you as a mother and it seems like a very sweet idea.
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You have a lot of admirable features, and I model some of my personal growth on your personality. You're a very kind man, and slow to anger, and yet you still can assert yourself and be commanding in the right moments. I feel that you can be a bit of a heel sometimes but I know you're making progress on that. It's hard being hard. I really like your hair. I think it frames your head well, and it's a nice consistency. I'm glad to see you doing so well, with the setbacks this year dealt you. I know you'll bounce back a hundred times stronger. I appreciate the way that we parallel each other and diverge, and we use those disparities to elevate each other.
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To see you and to know you are so different, and I find that difference humorous. I'm sure many look at you and get an impression of "tough guy", "brute", "physically intimidating", but to talk to you, it's easy to see how empathetic, soft-hearted and affable you are. A teddy bear in a suit of armor. You've been a gentle force in my head to improve myself physically. When I'm doing something demanding, you're often the first voice I hear saying, "One more." It isn't like I think you're pushy at all, but you're just such a great archetype for continual, steady progress that it's hard for me to not put you into that role. As a man who has always hard a hard time accepting that other people like him, I've known that you consider me a friend for a long time, and I am grateful for that.
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Your face mirrors a sort of platonic ideal of beauty to me. You have perfect teeth, and expressive, wide eyes, and your smile is even and genuine. Your skin glows and your hair is shiny and black. I wonder what it feels like. Is it glossy, or rough like mine? You're also so devoted to your husband, and that bond is beautiful and admirable. Two people tied together for so long, and at such a young age. I feel that ache for my own partner, and to see "like for like" in another makes me happy. Everyone should share in this love. With how beautiful you are, honestly, you also have a sort of distance to you, an untouchability. Would someone wish to hug the Mona Lisa?
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I don't see you much anymore, and sometimes that comes to mind and makes me sad. You have a wonderful, thoughtful personality. You're a sweet lady and you wear your age so well. You are always genuinely interested in everyone's lives around you and you draw love to you. I'm glad to be able to be in a new way, a stronger self, but that doesn't mean I've moved on from my past. I think about you often, and I know you are having an enriching and well-deserved retirement. I can only hope to have such giant, powerful roots as yours when I reach my golden years.
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Our relationship seems to have withered away, against my desires. What can a guy do against decades of mental health problems, toxic relationships and bad blood? I looked up to you throughout my life, and stepping away has been hard. Your birthday was just a few days ago and I didn't feel right sending you a message. I wonder if my memory of you will fade or if it'll always stay fresh. I won't ever forget our adventures together. Driving to the farm, working on that guitar you found, dumpster diving across the street. Your old shop is going to be a permanent visual and olfactory imprint on me. I know all of these bad things were caused by your actions, and your inactions, and I feel like I have done what I could to ameliorate things. Even with that, I don't wish for your life to be bad. I hope you find a way to find peace, regardless of how your choices have led to your outcome. I love you.
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