Playfulness as a Signal of Attractiveness

~securesakelayer

During the 2020 COVID lockdowns, several cultural fads broke through around the same time: sea shanty music, Taylor Swift's cottage core aesthetic, and... "eating ass." It's what a real man does. It's what a good boyfriend does. You don't love her if you don't do it.

I think there was a deeper motivation behind that meme: playfulness as a signal of attractiveness. Playfulness is a universally pro-social behavior, it works in both dating and doing business. The more playful a person is in socially aware ways, the more attractive they must be. Why? Vulnerability.

Vulnerability is a display that disproves a person from being considered insecure. Vulnerability is risky, so a person being vulnerable makes them seem as though they can trust you. An insecure person is volatile and untrustworthy. One wrong sentence in conversation with them can make them snap and conclude that you're unfunny, cruel, or weird. A playful person displaying their vulnerability is the opposite of that. Play makes you trust them, and they trust you because you didn't punish their display of vulnerability.

Watching a couple fart on one another, the one getting farted on usually has a smile on their face even as they loudly shame the smell. As a third party, we're lost in how disgusting that was. But that was the couple's trusting handshake. "I can trust you to handle my farts" shaking the hand of "I can trust you not to defecate on me." The Scatman was singing gibberish, but I've translated his lyrics.