Hunter S. Thompson said it best when he said, "Gods mercy on you swine."
Friends often ask what they should do/avoid when in Las Vegas, one of several towns I’ve lived in.
1. Tip. Even if you’re European.
2. Don’t be shitty to the locals and especially the young female hosts. Yes you’re rich, yes they aren’t. It doesn’t matter, they’re still fucking with the tatted line cook / runner you’re being an asshole to.
3. $10-20 will keep a nice car parked in front and occasionally without having to pay extra depending on the hotel.
4. Don’t do drugs in public. Keep the ski resort in your hotel room and make sure it isn’t sitting out when cleaning gets there.
5. Related, leave a $5 on your pillow for cleaning.
6. If you’re spending $5K on the tables and $50 on dinner, you’re an asshat. To paraphrase Bourdain, order the appetizer, order your own entree, eat slowly and have a proper bottle of wine. Of if on coke, we can all tell, just skip the pretend food and order a vodka soda. No one will judge you more or less than they already are.
7. Don’t be shitty to sex workers. It’s unnecessary. If you are, it’s very clear to everyone that you want to get involved. Don’t be so insecure, just be polite and have a good time. It’s illegal here so don’t expect support if you get shanked in your room for a rolex.
8. You can do Vegas on a small budget but in really dirty places. Consider skipping the gambling in favor of food and friends.
9. Uber > taxi.
10. Airbnb is not a great call unless you’re hanging outside of town in the mountains.
11. There’s a ski resort and great hiking depending on when you’re there.
12. Most bar tops have gaming which sucks. If you sit there, you have to play. Just ask for a non bar seat and they’ll happily seat non gamers.
13. We have good coffee and food off strip. Even great casinos like Durango and Red Rock.
14. I can’t stress this enough, don’t expect cocktails to be sex workers.
15. At ripper clubs, ask doormen for names of girls offering class participation. Pay through the teeth or lose teeth. IMO just avoid the whole situation. Also, ask valets who have party favors, not the concierge.
16. Finally, once again, Europeans, it’s Vegas, layoff the smack.
17. Yelp doesn’t really work well here. Locals like shitty food and they’re cheap AF because they’re mostly poor. Good places that cost normal prices get bad ratings where cheap big terrible food gets good ratings. If you tipped properly, this wouldn’t happen as much.
No, casinos will never treat their employees well and comp so they don’t survive off tips. They’re all terrible companies.
Hunter S. Thompson said it best when he said, "Gods mercy on you swine."