these days, my right eye twitches. it twitches the same way it did at the end of high school, or during any other midterm week. some days, it feels like the twitching, the rush, the worry may never go away. and then it does, precisely when it should. without any warning. and then I understand.
I worry...a lot. about everything. during all my waking hours. my friends know the misty gaze I have from time to time. when I don't realize that I just passed by a friend, that's why. I know that I cling onto everything too much. if you've watched Mr. Robot, you can compare my stubborn dwellings to Dom's insane passion for her work. and just like her, it takes a toll on me. I miss going to bed without fear. I miss the days without deadlines. hell, I miss not feeling dead I don't have work to do. I know that I have interests outside work (like writing, as I'm doing right now) but it takes a certain effort to context-switch. to leave it behind.
even romantic life took a weird turn this year. I guess being relatively certain that I'll leave this place made me less motivated about relationships. I hope that comes back too. it's always a thrill to have crushes. yes, sometimes everything does turn to shit but..year. it's fun.
and this concludes the daily vent session. my eye isn't twitchy for some reason. good. see you later mate.