Are you okay?
"Claire?" I stood outside her room, watching her stretch on the yoga mat. "What?" she demanded. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" "No, you cannot!"
"Please? I just wanted to check out." She stopped and looked up in surprise, "You're leaving?" "Yes,"I answered. She stood up and walked to the door. "Follow me," she said, heading towards the office.
We walked into the office and she closed the door, then motioned for me to seat down. "Look," she started, "if this is about you and me, you don't have to leave the pub. Krsnah, you're a really nice guy. But you and I - it's not going to happen, okay?" I nodded, "Okay. But I got an apartment..." "I know that," she brushed me off. "You can stay at your apartment, and sleep over whenever you like." "But my two weeks are up anyway, so..."
"That was just a run to see if you'd fit in," she said. "Oh," was all I could manage. I didn't know what to say. She cracked a smile and said, "Do I make you nervous?" "A lil bit. Claire, I'm sorry for flirting with you," I said, looking down. My eyes were tearing up. And I hated it. I hated myself.
"Hey," she touched my arm. "You don't have to apologize for that, okay?" "Okay," I said softly. "Look at me," she said, holding my chin up. I looked into her eyes, and for once, they weren't burning with anger. "Krsnah, you're a really nice guy. But I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I just need to be alone for a while, do you understand that?" I nodded. "Good," she smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"I don't know if I should keep the room," I said, "I'm going to be working on some projects so I won't have time to sleep here. And I think the room could be of better use to someone else." "Okay," she said.
"So we cool now?" I asked. She laughed, "We're good." "Okay then." "Okay." We stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. She wasn't angry anymore. She was smiling. But I was a lil sad. And I was trying hard not to show it. "Thanks for having me here Claire. And thanks for the nice birthday." "You're welcome," she said, smiling.
"I should probably get to packing now," I said, heading for the door. She followed me out to the hallway.
In a perfect world, she and I would've been together - a perfect couple. But it wasn't a perfect world. Sometimes, we can't have what we long for, not even in our dreams. And that sucks.
Are you okay?