Things were slowly falling into place since my shift to the headquarters. In the beginning it had been an overwhelming experience. I didn't know what my routine would end up looking like. And the sadness of giving up my room at the pub, plus my heart-wrenching ordeal with Claire had made me depressed for a few days.
In retrospect, I'd become too needy. I was desperate; desperate for love and affection. Desperate is never good. My mind had been fogged by by the flood of feelings and emotions from my heart. I couldn't think straight. And I had made a fool of myself, once again.
I wasn't new to relationships. I had a long history of relationships, somewhere between 16 and 18, a number of them online. It was hilarious, now that I thought about it. At what point does one give up on love and relationships? How many failed relationships did one need in order to conclude that love wasn't worth it anymore?
Was it love? Or had they all been crushes and infatuations? They say, if you found true love, you'd never forget it all your life. But I remembered them all! What was the logical explanation for that? Had I found true love each and every time I had ventured?
Love and lust can make you go blind
Devil playing with your mind
Love is the game you play
And pain is the price you pay
If you wanna go all the way
You got to go for it today
Don't listen to the words they say
Forever is an old cliche
No matter how hard you pray
Love is never gonna stay
"Hey! Where have you been?!" My stream of thoughts were broken by supermodel waitress Anne standing in front of me with a concerned look on her face. I grinned, "Hi Anne!" "Hi yourself! Where have you been? Everyone's been asking about you here," she said. "Well, I took some time off to heal myself," I said, with a straight face. "Heal yourself? What's going on? Are you okay?" She put her hand on my shoulder. "Oh! I'm okay! I just had an ailing heart. I needed some rest," I said with a smile. "Oh my goodness! Why didn't you tell me? Did you see a doctor?" She asked. "Yes. Yes I did," I replied. "And what did they say?" "The doc said I was a stupid fool." "What?! Krsnah!" Anne shook her head. "No, I'm serious. Here, feel my heart," I said, pushing out my chest at her.
Anne put her palm on my chest. "Can you feel it beating?" I asked. "Yes," she said, trying to decipher what the problem was. "Good! It means I'm still alive!" I grinned. She laughed. "Krsnah, I can't tell if you're serious or joking," she said. "Oh I'm serious!" I said. "By the way, Claire was asking about you," she said, "she was wondering where you were." "And?" "And?" "What did you tell her?" I asked. "I told her I hadn't seen you in a few days. Krsnah, is something going on?" she inquired. "I don't think so. Wanna listen to some music?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "Sure!" she smiled.
I went over to the DJ's booth and plugged in my laptop. It was time to bring some life back into the pub.