21. No Time For Love
It was a great feeling.
We all look forward towards love.
But what comes after that?
Emotionally, it was wrecking. Because when you cherish someone you love, and get a cold shoulder from them, it hurt like a muhfucka.
How does one forget love? I wanted to know. Because the moment I started thinking about love; the moment I started talking about love, I stopped making sense. It all sounded ridiculous and insane. I wanted to turn my mind off, and stop thinking about it all.
The Midnight Pub represented Claire, to me. When I thought of the pub, my mind automatically switched to Claire. It was a mental reflex. I had no control of it. And now that Claire had rejected me, it was a dead end. But, oddly enough, it still felt like home.
I'd taken a hiatus of 21 days. It wasn't intentional. Life caught up with me. When I was busy, I had no time for love. I wasn't depressed. I was tired. I was sleepy. I had to keep up with my schedule. And Claire didn't fit in anywhere in my stream of thoughts. It was a temporary relief.
But now that I was here, Claire had popped right back inside my head. The pub had been rejuvenated by a jolly new crowd.
I scanned the room for some familiar faces and spotted the Mayor discussing his new project with some guests.
I lay my head on the table and closed my eyes.
Sometimes, life felt so tiresome.
I just couldn't catch a break.
Time heals a broken heart. Each day gives you space. Work on furthering yourself: career, relationships, personal pursuits. In a few months, your life situation will have changed.
You may still have reserved feelings for Claire, but they will be bittersweet. Each passing day builds distance and you'll realize that after some time that Claire is no longer occupying your thoughts. The possibility of anything in your life involving Claire is off the table, and you've accepted it. That different frame of mind is what enables you to forget, forgive and move on.