Midnight Pub

You're no private eye.


I knew that dame was trouble as soon as she walked through the door. Probably because she broke the doorknob off when she came in off the sidewalk. Although, the maintenance problems at 734 Angler Street were not her fault. That I'll grant her.

"Ma'am. Ma'am, you'll need to climb up and around the edge of the Buddha," I told her, gesturing towards the large bronzed statue between us, which occupied most of the room. I knew about the 10-foot-wide Buddha in that office before I leased it. But the rent was low, and there was enough room for my desk in the corner. Round statues in rectangular rooms. That's just the way things worked in that hard-boiled town, back then.

You ever seen a dame in high heels and a pencil skirt try and climb over the rounded base of an enormous bronze statue? It wasn't graceful. But by god, she got it done. That should have been another clue, if I'd have been paying attention. I put down my cigarette and waited.

She sat down on the chair across my desk. I took a good long look at her. She was tall, nearly six feet I guessed, with dark skin. She was wearing a cream-colored blouse, and a grey skirt. Her angry eyes peered out from under a black cloche hat, pushed down over a furrowed brow. One eye was covered by a patch. And when she put her bag down on the floor, that's when I saw it: two fingers missing from the right hand. Now that's got to have a story, I thought. You don't see that every day.

Her mouth narrowed, her gaze flicking suspiciously between the daffy duck ashtray on the desk, and the nineteen cuckoo clocks on the wall behind me. "I'm here to buy insurance for my helicopter."

"Can't help you, ma'am. I'm a private investigator."

Her brow furrowed even deeper. "Is that so. Then why does the sign outside say, 'Briar and Sons Fine Sausages'?"

"Given the sausage sign, why did you come in here to insure your helicopter?"

We glared at each other menacingly for a few moments.

"You're no private eye. And I see no fine sausages here, either."

"Correct. I'm closing up early today." I stood up, put on my hat, and grabbed my cigarette from Daffy's lap.

"Where are you going?"

"Where am I going? I'll tell you where I'm going. I'm going to the Midnight Pub."



Freakin' loved this. Concise and snappy, put a huge smile on my face. Nice work!



Interesting. I kinda would have liked to read a few more lines of dialogues between the two of them before the abrupt end but we'll see how it goes from here. Looking forward to the next part.