When I moved in with my him, his daughter was one and a half. Between the daycare and her mom who took her half the time, she wasn't there much, but I cherished it. Time seemed lighter when she had left her trail of joy in the appartment.
It was healing. More than I realized then.
She's a teenager now. Could I ever thank her for the good she did to me as a baby?
I think she won't really understand what you mean until she's in her thirties. You can try telling her now, but I don't think that as a teenager she'll understand and might think you're being weird.
Babies are magical. So much love, so much potential. A mind being taught the beauty of the world right there in front of you. Really helps you believe in things again
Probably not enough. But I suspect trying would be much more fulfilling than being online.
Not really trying to find answers... I'm just dumping midnight thoughts on the pub. And not really as a way to address this relationship, but rather to think about other relationships.
What I had in mind here is more that, in a way, I can never thank that small child; she's not there anymore. I've been on both sides of that kind of relation; my impression has been that I could not reciprocate what feelings adults built with me as a child, because this child is no longer there.
Are you sure? If so, how so?
Perhaps an interesting experiment would be to see if you can reconnect with the child you tell yourself no longer is, she can connect with the child she possibly tells herself no longer is, and then you two interact in those respective states of inner child reconnection...?
Yeah, probably sounds like insanity.
Then again, what about the notion of selfhood doesn't?
I was a teenager whom people would try something like that with, and it was weird. Teenagers don't really want to reconnect with their inner child; they're trying to establish themselves as adult.
But I appreciate where you're coming from.
Gosh, memories of teen days have become faint to this here ancient of days....
My first memory impulse (filtered through unavoidable inner analysis, of course) is I was in a state of, um, let's call it "hypnotic automatism".
My second is to wonder how to stop the thought that I'm likely more in that state now than I ever was then.... >_<