I've been at the bar for the longest 40 minutes of my life. I'm glad to have barkeeper and inquiry around to keep me company because all I can think about is her opening the door.
I heard m15o talking about living in the moment while I downed my burbon, but honestly, my mind is a real mess.There hasn't been a single day in the last 10 years I haven't thought of her. It's almost like my life has stopped the moment we broke up, and I've been living with the hope to somehow reconnect with her. The fact that we both lived continents appart makes me think that distance was our greatest woe. And now we're in the same city. And now she'll meet me at the Midnight Pub for our lives to go back the way they were supposed to.
Yet, it's 1am, she's one hour late, and still no sign of her. I'm anxious as ever, and decide to go out with a new glass of bourbon. It's valentine's day today. The moon is up high. It's cold but I like it that way. As I lit might cig I see caffo step out of a cab. I nod. Look around. Still no sign of her.
I had a recurring dream where we'd meet and she'd show no sign of affection. Just as if we're two people who got over it. That feeling of indifference has been one of the most hurtful feeling. I'm terrify this happens tonight. What if she's legitimately happy to see me as an old friend? What if she doesn't jump-hug me and kiss me like I'm the person she's been waiting to see for 10 years? What if she just say "hey, nice to see you".
I take another sip. Are these oppossums in the alley? I must be waisted. I hear an opposum talking on the phone with their mom. They are having a very rough argument it seems. The opposum is yelling how hard it is to make a living with a youtube channel. Something something ad revenue. Something something twitch is better.
I take the last sip. The dimmed jazz music, the purple glow out of the Midnight's windows, the opposums and my cigarette. What a strange night. I'm feeling more calm. Whatever happens tonight, I'm ready.
Then I see her.
She's crossing the street.
I instently recognize her. Same face, same hairstyle, I would be able to recognize her even if there were 1000 people around her. She's wearing a blue warm jacket. She's wearing make-up. Heels as well.
The opposum has stopped talking to their mum.
I can't hear the jazz music from the Midnight any more.
Everything has stopped. I just see her. She sees me, but looks away. I have the biggest smile. She's smiling but her smile is not the one I knew from 10 years ago. It's an empty smile. Almost like she's forcing it.
Then she goes "hey, nice to see you".