It's been a while since I last got email from some pusbag who wants me to host their native advertising bullshit. These clowns never identify their client or how much they're willing to pay, but they expect me to be receptive to their pitches?
They're worse than tech recruiters, and I have no compunction when it comes to abusing them. They're lucky I don't quote Bill Hicks' advice to marketers, but they're in DIRE need of a suicide encouragement hotline.
Tonight's email comes from some asshole named Kristina who works for some UK outfit called Audiencr.
today's lucky winnerI mean, look at this piece of shit they call a website. These assholes can't even be bothered to get a SSL certificate from Lets Encrypt so they can be reached via HTTPS?
Bunch of unprofessional assclowns. Just look at this email I got tonight.
From: kristina@audiencr.com <kristina@audiencr.com> To: Contact <contact@matthewgraybosch.com> Subject: Advertising Options / Sponsored Content Options on matthewgraybosch.com Date:Sunday, May 30, 2021 10:00 PM Hi there, We’re currently working on behalf of a major industry-leading client trying to enhance their brand via editorial content. Whilst looking for opportunities, we came across your website matthewgraybosch.com Please let us know the pricing and options to place sponsored content on your website. We can provide you with a high-quality piece of content, fitting your website audience. We’ll include citations and images, so as to make the content naturally resonate with your readers. Furthermore, if you are interested in publishing sponsored content on websites/blogs owned by your company, please send us more details with the below info: - Website URLs - Pricing - Linking restrictions (Nofollow etc) - Any restrictions about the content or outgoing links Let me know and we can get something started. Best Regards,
Here's my reply.
Hello, Kristina. I don't believe for a moment that you bothered to actually look at my website at https://matthewgraybosch.com, because if you had you might have noticed the following: 1. The website consists of a single page. 2. The first paragraph is essentially an announcement that I no longer actively blog at that site. 3. It's a bare-bones site designed to DETER your target audience. I've seen spam from people like you before. You're trying to boost the profile of some online casino that you don't even have the courage to identify in your initial pitch, and you expect me to provide you a platform? You don't even have the guts to name your client, let alone the sense to tell me how much you're gonna pay me to host your content? Let me guess: you couldn't hack it as a tech recruiter so now you shill for the sort of people who promote online casinos? Neither of us are getting paid enough for this. PS: I CC'ed your boss, because he too needs to know that I'm not here for audiencr's bullshit. Why would I want sponsored content on a PERSONAL WEBSITE, anyway? PPS: I have also forward your email to report@phishing.gov.uk, just for a laugh.
Yes, I know I'm wasting my time, but I'm dealing with a fair amount of rage right now and I don't have any scruples about bullying spammers.