Ah, a fellow youngster. Don't let my writing style confuse you, I'm in my 20's (and female), as well!
Personally, social media almost entirely depends on its user base. The technical aspects are insignificant compared to the people using such services, especially in cases such as Tumblr, which is largely treated like a clone of Twitter/X but with no character limit. From my personal experience, I noticed a significant improvement of the atmosphere on Tumblr right after the NSFW ban that made a lot of vocal users migrate to Twitter/X (only for this calmer atmosphere to worsen again with Automattic's CEO picking up public fights with trans users across two services). On another note, even the "cesspool" named 4chan became noticeably calmer – relatively speaking, it still is a nasty place – after the most hostile users migrated to 8chan/8kun in the aftermath of Gamergate. You can be certain that such users wouldn't go out of their way to behave like this on niche sites such as those on the smol web, since all they care about is maximum reach. As such, I can't provide an idea on how to change the internet, as it is dependent on its users just like mainstream social media is. However the internet in its entirety is much larger, hence it can be easier to avoid social media when improving one's "Google-fu" and just letting oneself get dragged down the virtual rabbit holes. Social media, as I see it, largely circle around the same handful of sites, so unless you know how to discover people that interest you, social media will make you feel miserable.
By the way, despite my openness, I never really understood the appeal of "smart" devices. While more convenient in some aspects compared to devices that "do one thing and do it well", I continued to treat them as just another set of tools. Maybe it's because I'm more interested in the inner workings of tech and thus enjoy comparing different devices. As much as I like my old iPod touch, it does not grant me the same control over my music like my very first MP3 player, which surprisingly offers less storage space but can contain more music files (perhaps due to the lack of a larger display that can display album covers and lyrics, something which I do not need when I'm not at home). I got my first smartphone when I was 12 and it was... a pain to use. While I not got a used iPhone, I almost exclusively use it to keep track of the plants and birds I encounter. Social media no longer holds any appeal to me – you could say my growing boredom of it drove me away and to a bunch of new hobbies I can enjoy on my own and with a friend I originally made on social media.
Don't feel pressured into using social media (or using social media in a certain way). Do – or (re-)discover in your case – what you truly enjoy because, as cliché it may sound, life's too short to waste it away on a tiny computer.