Midnight Pub

Life seems to like only big twists

~shoebx

Hi folks. I've been a bit quiet due to the change in rhythm coming from the summer. It's kinda hard to find a moment of rest when everything is time for it, somehow.

~bartender, let's go for a plain espresso this time. Short, no sugar. Thank you.

The only constant rhythm in my life is the slow sipping of a good coffee.

I still checked this place once every two weeks or so and it has been kinda surprising: at first ~tffb's stuff was gone; now also ~inquiry's stuff is gone, and ~tffb's suddenly got back.

This is all perfectly understandable, albeit unexpected.

The thing I can't fathom out though is that in this exact time frame I got a lot of huge twists in my life too. What happened in this pub recently is only my confirmation that life does not like to have small twists. I'm not quite sure what a "small twist" would even be.

As fun as it would seem fun to see your life change completely every once in a while, eventually it becomes quite tiring, if not scary.

Maybe it's my young age, maybe it's the circumstances, I don't know.


tffb

mine didn't come back, I just wrote new stuff.

idk why Inquiry deleted his, I deleted mine because I need to delete old stuff to make (head)way for the new.

espresso for me, too, ~bartender

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shoebx

Oh yeah to the old stuff is still gone for me. I thought you were, like, gone for good and so when I saw new activity from you I thought you "came back".

idk why Inquiry deleted his

~inquiry said in a comment that he got tired of persistent posts.

The post
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tffb

many things are ephemeral

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inquiry

Per ~shoebx:

> ~inquiry said in a comment that he got tired of persistent
> posts.

Persistent posts became burdensome, slowly defining restrictions to what "~inquiry" could write going forward without seeming inconsistent. There's little point to a name/handle without statement/action (or *content* in writing realms) consistency which others can associate with the name/handle. But the need to maintain consistency becomes burdensome. It's roughly why so many "ways" of significant value equate "losing one's self" with liberation.

Imagine becoming famous for a comic or style of music, and then learning that straying too far from others' expectations of what that comic/music "is" - and must continue to be - means audience disappearance.

It doesn't always happen, but that's rare. For example, the Beatles were lucky for being able to morph stylistically over time, yet remain relevant/beloved. But even then, Lennon eventually wrote/sang the following at the end of his song "God":

i don't believe in *beatles*
[pause]
i just believe in me
yoko and me
and that's reality

the dream is over
what can i say?
the dream is over
yesterday
i was the dream weaver, but now i'm reborn
i was the walrus, but now i'm john
and so dear friends, you'll just have to carry on
the dream is over

That rather nails abandoning past content to feel free of the expectational image it creates.

Also, it turns out my nature is at odds with the slow, mostly un-acknowledging aspect "SMOL". Writing something I'm proud of is a lot of work. It has to *not* seem pointless. But I can't see posting as other than pointless in the absence of "reads" evidence and/or response. Without it, persistent posts become testaments to having mostly wasted one's time.

So... commenting on others' posts - but not sourcing any - seems a reasonable compromise between avoiding said burdensomeness, and needing to write and enjoy interaction creativity/cleverness.

Per ~tffb:

> many things are ephemeral

I'm pretty sure it's more like "many -> all"....

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tffb

I am 100% in agreement with this - TYPE-casting visa vi writing/blogging is very real, but real in the sense that "I expect others to expect of me" or (in another frame of mind) "writing is writing - ephemeral and eternal, so just do it how/when I want".

To be blunt - blogging is little else than a compartmentalized "dedication-to-it" for one's writing, the writing means much much much more.

So I see where you're at with this. Some may follow a "blog ethos" of "always keep it online", "*try* to write a thing daily", be...XYZ thing(s) to others, when (really) the writing is the end-not-means or/and modus operandai for it

~bartender, a hot espresso to work off this sweat from a 1.1 mi 85 degree walk back from clubhouse. I'll be consuming an iceberg of cold water while you prepare. ty

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inquiry
> To be blunt - blogging is little else than a
> compartmentalized "dedication-to-it" for one's
> writing, the writing means much much much more.

Which reminds me, nice one at write.as today, courier T! :-)

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tffb

ty :)

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inquiry

Another thing beyond the menace of having to live up to a persistent body of work comes to mind: the hyper-self-righteous-judgmental-ism of the times. That puts a real crimp on "freedom of write". I'm tired of not being able to so much as joke about not being able to joke about something without risking the sky falling, so to speak. I suspect that's driving more of the smallness of "smol" than any "smol" philosophy.

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